Once it was decided that we would travel to Louisville, Kentucky, to represent Gopher Pup Tent 2 and the Minnesota Grand at the Military Order of the Cootie’s Supreme Scratch, it didn’t take long for the nerves to set in. Draped around our shoulders like a shroud of doubt and indecision. No way this would be a positive experience. Older vets from every corner of the United States were sure to greet us as The Other. The sore thumb. The turd in the punchbowl.
Nothing could have been further from the truth of our surprisingly unexpected and thoroughly appreciated reception. From the first class flight out of MSP (Jason’s first since leaving Japan in 2001 and being bumped up from coach) where his pink Oxfords, pink hair tie and purple skinny jeans with the pink undertones garnered compliments from well-connected strangers to frank conversations in Louisville with fellow Cooties about meeting “Jessie” the next day when the festivities kicked off. Explaining what he meant by that. Explaining what being genderfluid meant. Explaining the unique human they would soon welcome into the fold of their tight-knit group of veterans committed to ensuring other vets aren’t forgotten by time. Everyone he met seemed excited by the prospect.
I showed up on day one of the convention with all the goodwill and positive energy from Jason’s arrival to find an equal amount for me and then some. I saw a few confused looks, naturally, but nary a gas face or angry glower. Intense curiosity was the extent of the ambiguous energy but in every instance it proved to be sincere and ready to accept whatever explanation I cared to offer. Not that we have a whole lot to provide. We don’t fucking know. It’s all new to us, too. We’re super happy for the help in figuring it all out. Without the strength of everyone we hold close, including all those new friends we made last weekend who we’ll see again for the Tomb Trek over Veterans Day weekend at Arlington National Cemetery, this would have been an impossible transition to make.
What has become abundantly clear in the few short months we’ve been out in this beautiful world is that the majority of negative assumptions aren’t worth the angst they’re written on or the blood, sweat and tears they’re written in. People who’ve know Jason for years have been amazed at our new glow. They mention it at every turn. They’ve never seen us this happy or content. Strangers are ready to engage in honest and interesting dialogues where our ability to articulate our story in a way that can be readily understood must be creating residual impacts far beyond our view given what we’ve already seen. Our stance moving forward assumes positive intent despite outward signals not immediately clear. It’s very easy to see who is or isn’t being genuine in their initial surprise.
As I prepare to take over as Seam Squirrel of Minnesota’s MOC Gopher Pup Tent 2 next year, it is clear to me what I have to do. Whatever it takes to keep this vitally important organization relevant and growing into the future. The simple fact of me stepping into the commander’s role should be enough of a signal that things are changing for the nation’s third-oldest veteran’s service organization. The reception we received at the Supreme Scratch was another signal that it just isn’t queer-friendly Minneapolis that is ready to shift. The Military Order of the Cootie in all corners of this great nation seem poised to grow in similar fashion. Perhaps that can prompt the Veterans of Foreign Wars to take note and make the shift with us. Our VFW Post 246 has been a leader in that regard.
Tomorrow’s combat vets need all the understanding, energy and compassion that only we who have been there can offer.
