Objectively speaking, many of the folks in the LGBTQ2+ community are gorgeous, both inside and out. They are smart and funny and real in ways I rarely saw in my previous life. I saw a whole lot of ugly over the years, but precious few moments of unadulterated beauty. Effortless charity and amazing grace. I’ve lost track of how many of those traits I’ve seen every single day since I came out as a nonbinary human. I was embraced without pause, pretense or preparation.
There is something special about being accepted and loved for who you truly are and not who you felt you had to be at the time for a variety of reasons, most of them not even conscious decisions. Not only that, but as I grow into my new identity, there is literally nothing I do that would cause any of my friends to pause, to take stock, and come to a different conclusion. I feel safe and seen in a way I have never been. A trend that reverberates throughout my days.
My kid is feeling that love reflecting in my new glow. They are embracing all the amazing things they can bring to the world and leading the way among their own group of friends at school. When we paint our nails the same shade or get dressed up for the day, they always say the same thing. “We’re fancy, daddy!” We’re in good company, too, with all the other fanciful people in our lives of each and every stripe. None of us feeling the need to hide in order to survive.
Which leaves me with the exhilarating (and kind of frightening) task of being fulltime fancy when I’m out in the world. I’ve decided the best way to embrace this new life is to treat it as a second chance for getting everything I ever wanted. I’m unambiguously nonbinary whenever I leave the house, basking in the both the pointed stare and the pleasant exchange. I feel like I’ve been tasked with dragging parts of society kicking and screaming into the 21st century.
Every time I’m brave enough to live my truth without apology or permission there is a chance someone else without my inherent privilege or powers of persuasion is able to do the same. I’m definitely seeing that with people closest to me, including my kid and several longtime friends. It’s not easy, but it is certainly worth the ongoing effort. I’m excited to see where this fancy life takes us now that I’m leaning in. There are no limits that I can see from here.
