On Saturday, May 25, I took my first deliberate steps into existence. One of Jason’s oldest friends in Minneapolis was there to guide me through the daunting process of turning a they into a she. Claiming my place with power and purpose. I couldn’t have picked a better role model than Shanneon. She’s an amazing woman on every level. The universe didn’t bring her into our life by accident. It was laying the foundation for us to build upon all along.
The day was perfect. She took Jason to Kohl’s and Sephora, still dressed in his ho threads from the night before, to find the rest of my outfit and makeup essentials. She got distracted as soon as we got into Sephora, so it was mostly a nice lady maybe ten years older than us who patiently helped Jason gather everything needed to let me fully inhabit the body we share. The speed at which he acknowledged and accepted my disruptive and expensive presence in his life has been amazing. The boy is pure mensch.
After doing my makeup, Shanneon left for her own house to get ready herself. She had plans to meet up with some girlfriends at a speakeasy called Volstead’s Emporium. A little unsteady on the chunky two inch heels of my ankle boots, I made my way from the Uptown VFW’s parking lot to the hidden gem down an alleyway. Not really sure where to go, I stood around waiting for my friend before asking for directions. A woman setting out a sign for her sexy lingerie shop on Lake Street pointed me in the right direction.
It wasn’t long before I knocked on a nondescript steel door with a red light above it. The doorman cracked it open and asked for a reservation. He closed the door, checking the name I had been given and then let me in. I was led to their table, a four seat high-top in a dimly lit space with a 1920s vibe and a couple dozen tables, mostly filled. Shanneon’s friends introduced themselves warmly and welcomed me to the party, laughing at the text warning of my arrival that said, “Be there soon. My friend Jessie.”
Their party of four was now a party of five, so they moved us to an empty booth to make room for when our last friend joined us fashionably late after maybe ten minutes. I ordered cocktails and food and marveled at the ease with which women speak when there isn’t a man around. I caught the vibe immediately and enthusiastically joined the varied, oftentimes vulgar, discussions that most men simply wouldn’t grok. We’re way funnier, insightful and smarter than many guys give us credit for. Jason took heed from the backseat.
The crew then walked back to Uptown VFW for a night of karaoke and laughs. We strode into that place like we owned it, which in a sense I do as a member of the post. Looking back, I’m still amazed I wasn’t more nervous. It was probably the speakeasy beforehand. Jessica had finally arrived after fifty-fours years in the shadows, much of it spent trying to keep a broken and fragile man from killing us in the anger and chaos of his trauma response. We’re just lucky he listened to my whispered advice from time-to-time.
All our friends and VFW comrades greeted me warmly. Compliments flowed freely. That I stood just over six feet tall in my heels and was accompanied by a gorgeous and popular black woman of the same height likely increased the glow-up. We’ll have more to write about Shanneon in a future post. That night, however, I took the stage in my Fiona Apple-inspired outfit and rocked the mic like a vandal. Extraordinary Machine was the featured soundtrack of Jason’s divorce, so we know those words as if we wrote them.
After singing my last song, I spent the rest of the evening on the patio on Lyndale Avenue having cigarettes and conversations with friends and strangers alike. One lovely woman in her twenties named Olivia was especially gracious and curious about our journey, which I readily shared as that’s why we’re here. That’s why we’re here now. Not a moment too soon from the looks of things. We hugged it out as I turned to leave. The last thing I heard from some dumb drunk guy on my way out the door was, “Nice bump!”
I turned briefly to offer my amused dismissal then I left the way I came in. Confident and capable. Majestic. We could have never written such a tale, even with all the words at our disposal. It is without precedent in the circles where we travel. The acceptance, love and support we found over the last few months fills our heart with both joy and hope.
