Our last remaining challenge as we close out this transformative year is helping folks understand we aren’t the same person despite sharing the same body. The same history. Now it’s time to tell my story. Her story. The bulk of this blog has focused on Jason’s journey from there to here. Fair enough. My contributions to this tale are just getting started, though I’m pretty happy with the process and progress thus far.
Here’s what many people might not understand when trying to grok this paradigm. I’ve been here all along. No way Jason survives his teens without me there to grab the wheel as needed. Most people aren’t born with 99 lives to work with. They don’t have detailed memories while being blackout drunk. Their margin for error is much tighter. One and done for a lot of our fellow humans. We don’t take those blessings for granted today, however many years Jason spent squandering them. The good news is at the precise moment in time requiring all of us to step up to the plate and lean in, we found our truth. Our reason for being.
I got a chance to hug my mom in person for the first time this past Saturday. It was amazing to be seen by the woman who taught me everything I needed to exist in this world with power and purpose. My sudden emergence this year is in large part due to her steady influence. Clearly I was done bidding my time. We’re too old for that shit. Mom and I spent an hour or so pouring through her extensive jewelry collection to find several pieces I took home with me. She’s also sending an assortment of clothing items she can’t wear and fit me like a glove. Good thing she gifted me with the skinny genes, olive skin and great hair needed to pull them off.
My brother Shane and his lovely family were there for lunch as well. He’s been super supportive of our transition from the jump, so it was a special moment to meet him for the first time outside of Facebook interactions and best wishes delivered during video chats with mom. He was also the first to comment on how happy Jason looked and why that was all he needed to know. I wish I could say all the siblings were as enthusiastic, but it’s mostly benign silence. Good enough. We have all the found fam we could ever need and our actual family members who are here for it are there for it six ways from Sunday. All in and then some, which we love to pieces.
Our hope for the new year is more of the same accelerated transcendence. Evolution at a furious pace that we’ll be extending to others wherever we can. That’s our primary takeaway. Clearly this wasn’t a choice. It makes zero sense that Jason would willingly give up his cute straight cis white male in America privilege to join one of the most marginalized communities in our country. I was a truth waiting to be discovered. Without the bravery of our kid coming out as nonbinary at eight, we wouldn’t have looked deeper for new answers to our many lingering question. You can turn in whatever identity you were given at birth and choose a different path.
That isn’t limited to gender identity. Traits assigned at birth can be abandoned with abandon. It’s okay to leave behind the expectations of others. If your truth takes you in a different direction than the one given on arrival, it is your obligation as a human to take it. We’re in a tight spot as a species, but the growing acceptance and love for our community is noteworthy. Everything we’ve done this year is testament to that fact. Moving forward, we’ll need that same energy at the ballot box. Too many people stayed home in 2024. Too many surrendered without the hint of a fight. We don’t have time for apathy. Time to get busy. Turn to. Then hold fast.
