Ollie made me a daddy at the ripe old age of forty-four. Almost ten years later, they again transformed me into an us, but in a way I’d never anticipated and am only beginning to truly understand. I suppose we shouldn’t have been surprised. Our life has been absolutely chockfull of juxtaposition and synchronicity. This leading to that and then some other damn thing, all seemingly disconnected yet somehow part of an amazing and exciting story as yet to unfold.
We’ve always loved a good plot twist. This one was a doozy! As we move into this new reality, boldly and without apology, we can’t help but wonder what comes next. Our life has become a plural and a singular at the same time. We each have our own individual parts to play as a part of this epic tale, but we are an ensemble cast with an obligation to the bigger picture. Each of us made better by each other and each willing to lean in to our transcendence. We’re still learning how to be fearless from our kiddo.
Pronouns have been a big topic in our household of late. Ollie recently decided they are a he and a they at the same time I discovered I am a he, a they and a she. An us. A we. Feeling pretty good about how quickly we got past that confusing puzzle to find a peaceful whole. I suppose that is the one benefit of the power and privilege I was bestowed at birth as a CIS White Male. I’ve failed upward at every turn of the wheel. Very much enjoying this chance to succeed on our own merits. Our own terms.
Ollie enthusiastically welcomed Jessica to the mix (they call her Jess Dad and Jessie) and encouraged us to be everything we are at all times. Challenge accepted! We’ll write about the emerging Jessie/Jason identity in a future installment, but needless to say the results have been positive beyond anything we could have hoped for and much more than many in our position face. Friends and family alike have been loving and supportive. My boss and coworkers accepted us without missing a beat.
We’re expanding our circles of influence at every intersection and pushing the bounds of the possible with each interaction.
This glow-up is reflected in our kiddo’s eyes as well. They seem more confident in their identity now, even after two years of leaning in without a hint of fear or trepidation. They are expanding the idea of who they can be today and how they might fit into the world tomorrow. Ollie has always had an expansive view of their unique voice and vision, but that seems to be taking on a new focus and intent. As they evolve and grow and succeed, it gives me renewed strength to embrace this change with all we have to offer.
We couldn’t be more excited to see where this all leads, both short- and long-term. There is a poetic symmetry to finding our true self by way of our child finding themselves first. This generation gets it. Instinctively. No hesitation. Certainly no apologies. This tired, old world definitely needs their enthusiasm for inclusion and equity as the human race faces an existential threat that we’ll never survive as warring tribes with fractured lives. The only way we make it through the climate crisis is by following their lead.
In the meantime, Jason and Jessie will continue to embrace and embody Ollie’s authenticity and advocacy. Fate couldn’t have given us a better role model for making this transition so late in life. I’d say it was ironic, but it was clearly all part of a plan laid down long before any of us were born into this tragic comedy.
